


Stop the world (wanna get off with you)

by orphan_account



Category: Buzzfeed: Worth It (Web Series)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-27 01:40:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15675450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Prompt: Andrew being super bummed out and moody after Steven moves to NYC and Adam points this out. Andrew does some reflecting and then realizes he’s in love with steven and flies to see him.





	Stop the world (wanna get off with you)

Twenty seven Worth It videos in, Andrew receives a quiet but firm tap against the desk space next to his laptop and glances upwards to acknowledge the appearance of a familiar friend. With a degree of reluctance, he pauses the current video he was on and removes his ear-buds right as Adam makes himself comfortable in ~~Steven's seat~~ an unoccupied office chair next to him.  
  
"Hey."  
  
Now that his attention is mainly focused on his friend and colleague, it's impossible for Andrew not to have missed the fleeting yet pointed glance Adam offers to the display on his screen. While he hadn't verbally brought things up, it's enough to have Andrew feeling defensive enough to fully shut the cover of his laptop down in an audible click.   
  
"Just uh-" An abortive shrug of his shoulder was made. "Doing some research."   
He knows it's as flimsy of an excuse as they come- doesn't mean he still won't make an attempt to navigate out of an undoubtedly awkward situation. Unfortunately enough, Adam's nowhere as new of a friend to let him off that easily.

"By watching old videos?"  There's no hesitation in the dry disbelief of Adam's delivery when he responds to his truthfully pathetic attempt of an excuse and Andrew has to fight back the urge to wince because damn, talk about leaving no wiggle room. Then again, Adam isn't the only stubborn one in this situation. Not...situation but it very well is fast _becoming_ one.

"Yeah. You don't know what we could have missed. Could work it into our contingency plans or something."

Andrew's repeat attempt draws a longsuffering sigh from his companion and he allows himself a span of a few seconds to feel a reflexive stab of guilt before rectifying that with a reminder that Adam _did_ technically start this, therefore he has no grounds to be making Andrew feel bad.

"Andrew-" Okay now he _really_ feels bad for being the cause of that much exasperation. "It's been months." _There's only so many repeats of the same videos one can watch without being suspected of feeling some type of way_. Adam doesn't vocalise that but the implications were clear. Knowing that they were leaves a sour taste in Andrew's mouth that worsens when Adam's frustrations faded into something softer. Something that resembled sympathy mingled with pain.   
  
"You can't keep living like this."

The intake of breath he draws into his lungs is shaky to say the least. Done out of necessity to steady himself from the hollow ache that settles against his chest with an oppressive weight.   
  
"I know, Adam. I just-" Another deep inhale. Keep it together. There's no reason he should be feeling like this. He has no right. It wasn't his decision to make and it still isn't. Thinking otherwise would have been selfish.

_I miss him_.

"I guess I just need more time. It won't...I won't always be like this, I promise. I just...need more time."

It's ridiculous. He knows it is. Steven's not _dead_. They still talk all the time and if he wanted to, he could always see what Steven is up to by following his social media updates. He's not dead. He's just... _gone_. He's just not here and the fact that his absence in proximity could upset the balance of peace Andrew feels is ridiculous. It shouldn't be the case, except it _is_. Even if it made no damn sense.

There were times where Andrew momentarily resents Steven for that. For somehow making him care. For being able to affect him this drastically. For leaving everything and everyone behind that easily, like they meant nothing to him. Like _he_ meant nothing to him. And that's fucked up because he shouldn't be feeling this way. A change in environment and resources meant the possibility of accomplishing more. Steven has plans for his future and Andrew has no place holding him back from fulfilling his goals.

"Andrew." Oh wow a second Adam-trademark sigh. They're really on a roll today.  Adam's fingers dug in slightly when he sets a hand on his shoulder and squeezes. Perhaps it's due to the fact that he's accustomed to handling heavy filming equipment, so his grip gets a little too strong at times. But Andrew finds the pressure steadying. Like an anchor, securing him so he has no danger of drifting off. Drifting away. Not like-

"This isn't a problem that can be fixed with time. You're not helping anyone by letting it fester." His friend is undeterred in his chiding but no less gentle despite his insistence. "Whatever this is. It has to stop. It's not healthy."

" I've tried. _Nothing_ 's working."

He resists the urge to scrub at his own face. Exhaustion weighs heavy against his temples, leaning against the slopes of his shoulders.

"Steven's my friend too, you know." Hearing his name spoken aloud is clarity at its coldest. Adam waits for him to make eye contact again before he continues. "You're not the only one who has to deal with having a close friend leave- I did as well. And right now, I feel like I'm losing another even though he's sitting next to me every day."  

 Despite his usual eloquence, Andrew finds that the lump forming against the back of his throat severely dampens his ability to form a sentence. Regardless, there's nothing he could have said to deny the stark truth of Adam's statement. Steven isn't just Andrew's friend. Everyone misses him too. And in the time Andrew had spent moping in the face of his departure for New York, he's kind of neglected to see that they were all coping with his absence too. God, what a shitty friend he'd been.   
  
"....Adam, I'm sorry."

"I know, I'm sorry too. I waited because I thought it'd get easier to deal with but you've just been getting worse. I've never seen you get this bad. Not since-" Adam breaks the rest of his sentence off with a decisive shake of his head. To his credit, he barely falters when he continued on. "This has to stop, Andrew. You need to stop pretending that nothing's wrong. You have to do something about it."

The backs of his eyes stung when Andrew closes them and wills his voice not to waver.

"I don't know what to do."

Sheer vulnerability in his admission has him speaking in a hushed tone, twisting his fingers to focus on anything else but the pain. "Besides, it's not like I can just show up unannounced-"   
  
"You can."

The conviction in Adam's tone has the rest of his words vacating the premises in an instant and it's all Andrew could do but stare at him in bewilderment. He can't really expect Andrew to just drop everything and step out just to fly all the way to New York and confront Steven- what the fuck was he even supposed to say? 'Hey sorry for dropping in so suddenly but you leaving us all behind really hurt my feelings.' Yeah that would go well.

" _You can_." Adam repeats once again. "I've checked. HQ in New York's currently looking to liaise with someone in our offices for a cross-collaboration so you can go as long as you participate in it and facilitate the whole set up. Just think about it, okay?"

As quickly as he'd made his entrance, Adam disappears after offering Andrew two more meaningful pats on the shoulder and leaves him reeling in an effort to process the information he'd just been offered. Against better judgment, Andrew does end up thinking about it. More specifically, it creeps up on him the moment he stops being able to find other matters to focus on. With a simple yet succinct response, Adam has successfully managed to rip off the metaphorical 'Do Not Cross' tape he'd painstakingly placed up in the corners of his mind.

Case in point: Steven is working from their offices in New York rather than here with them and Andrew is upset about it. That's to be expected. Anyone who's developed a friendship with Steven would naturally feel upset about watching him go. What the problem here is that he's been consistently low ever since he'd made the transfer. He misses him _all the time_. Misses being able to see his face when Andrew successfully sneaks in a pun. Misses being able to poke and prod at his sides when work is particularly slow. Misses the familiar cadence of Steven's voice when he whines his name with mock exasperation.

It's an acute feeling of loss. No longer being surrounded by Steven with his steven-esque things all over the desk. Not having to play wrestle him because he keeps stealing and stretching out Andrew's jackets instead of using his own. Missing the little things that have come to mean something to Andrew. Sure they still talk as often as possible through ,their group chats or arranging times to make calls. Steven sends him memes and images all the time. ~~He saves them all~~. But it's not the same as having Steven actually beside him. And how long would that last? Sooner or later, Steven is going to meet new people. He's going to make new friends, be swept up with different projects and before he knows it, the times in which they'll be able to contact each other would dwindle. The beautiful and cruel thing about Life is that it goes on. It'll always go on and Andrew would be here. Stuck in the moment like he usually is.

Sooner or later, he's going to have to let Steven go.

And- _oh._

"Oh my god." This time the tears really do fall. "I'm in love with Steven Lim."

A week later, he boards his flight to New York with his heart in his throat and conviction on his mind. Past Andrew might have been tempted to decide it's a stupid idea, turn back and die with regret weighing like a perpetual sheet of ice against his innards. Current Andrew has decided that he owes it to himself, and Adam, to at least give it a try.

Hours later, Andrew's in the midst of a rooftop party hosted at their headquarters there. Under the cover of flashing lights, an excitable crowd dancing and mingling about, it's easy for Andrew to slip in the background unnoticed. With practised ease, he weaves through the throng of colleagues both new and old, careful not to spill the drink he's clutching onto for a sense of security. Before long, his sweeping gaze lands on Steven.

Even among a crowd whose liveliness easily matched his, there's something about Steven that stands out. He's bobbing along to the beat in what Andrew recognises as one of his goofy moves, laughing along with the others and he steps forward before he's able to overthink the awkwardness of his actions or how _this is still a stupid fucking idea_.

Andrew gets about three quarters of the way there before Steven catches sight of him and immediately does a double take so quick, he wonders if it gave him whiplash. But Andrew doesn't get much time to think after that because the gaping wide eyed expression on Steven's face soon morphs into jubilance and Steven's breaking out into a sprint towards him. A couple of hurried 'Sorry's later, he finds the air knocked out of him as his companion straight up barrels into him, sending the both of them stumbling for a few paces before they're able to catch their balance. Andrew's lifted off the ground with how full bodied Steven's embrace was and under normal circumstances, he would have been self conscious enough to protest about causing a commotion in public.

But this is by no means a normal situation so instead of complaining, he secures his own arms around Steven's shoulders, presses his face against the crook of his neck and squeezes back. The familiarity of the shampoo and laundry detergent Steven uses washes over him like a warm breeze on a cold evening and he has to resist the urge to shudder before pulling him even closer- if that was even possible. Steven's warmth is steadying. The lankiness of his body securing Andrew against him is familiar and he's never been extremely emotional but for the span of a few seconds, he swears he could start crying again because even after all this time in New York, Steven still feels like _home_.

All too soon, the hug ends but Andrew couldn't bring himself to protest since Steven's still holding onto him by his shoulders and offering him his full attention. Being on the receiving end of such a bright welcoming grin is like basking in the warm rays of the sun on a lazy afternoon and Andrew intends to keep it with him as long as he could.

"Holy shit! I thought I was seeing things, oh my god! Andrew?!!! What're you doing here?"

Already, Steven's chattering with enthusiasm, squeezing at his biceps while he beams from ear to ear. He makes to draw Andrew into the crowd, holding on to his wrist in a light tug, probably to introduce him to people. And he can't begrudge the confusion that settled soon after when he's prevented from doing so by way of Andrew tugging him back.

"Later." He mouths at Steven through the heavy thrumming of bass and music, motioning with his head. "Can we-?"

Comprehension dawns on his companion soon enough because he's nodding back in confirmation and flashing him yet another grin. This time, Steven switches direction and Andrew follows. Together, they make their way through the crowd, dodging the occasional errant elbow and shuffling feet as best as they were able. Steven leads him away from the party, pushing the doors open so that they would be mostly separated from the commotion.

"So what's up?"

Ever the direct person, he wastes no time in sinking down on one of the sofas available, patting at the other end in an invitation to sit. Eyes, as lively as they were sharp, focused on Andrew in a bid to study his reactions and he has to remind himself to breathe now that he's able to fully take in the sight of Steven without all the distracting strobe lights around.

When Andrew doesn't immediately answer the question, concern starts to seep into Steven's demeanour.

"....Is everything okay?" Concern is soon to be replaced with alarm as Steven stiffens. "Are you okay? Is everyone okay?"

"No, no. Everything's fine." For once since the whole duration of being in New York, Andrew finds familiar ground, waving Steven's concerns away before the other could worry himself into panic. "It's just...."

No turning back now. Fingers curled into fists before relaxing repeatedly as Andrew fought to keep his nerves in check. Distantly, he wonders if the loud beating in his ears is a side effect from the music, or if it's his heart currently trying to vacate his chest because it sure as hell  is starting to seem more like the latter.

"Look, Steven. I know this is a really dumb idea and I know that it's stupid but hear me out."

There was so much to unpack. So much left unsaid that he could have brought up: 'I missed you. We all did' for one. 'I told you I was happy for you but I really didn't want you to go' for another. What came out of his lips in a hurried breathless manner was "I love you."

Like water from a broken dam, it spills from him without restraint.

"I'm _in_ love with you. Have been for a long time. And I know now isn't a good time for me to be telling you this. Especially when you have your own things to do here and you're just settling in with your new life. But...I think about how years or even months from now.....how things may change for better or for worse and I just...the thought of you moving on from m- from us, the thought about having to one day let you go completely...it terrifies me. So-" Admittedly, he's not the best at heartfelt speeches because he breaks off to wring his hands. "So this is me letting you know that you're important to me. And that I love you. I don't expect anything in return from you and I'm alright with continuing to be friends. Just please don't cut me off."

He'd be able to handle most of anything but that. Though he'd spent so long waiting to see Steven again, it's suddenly very hard to meet his eyes. In the quietude of the office space, it's almost quiet enough to hear the words of the remixes that were currently being played through the doors. Andrew doesn't regret getting his words out even if they weren't rehearsed and he's reeling them off from the top of his head. He doesn't regret the fact that he's just virtually spilled everything he'd been holding in out.

What's probably the worst thing out of this is that Steven has gone completely still. And with each passing second of his silence, Andrew has the mounting urge to apologise and sink down into concrete floors. After an eternity, he swallows his shame and chances a glance up.

Only to see an openly gaping Steven whose pink cheeks were rapidly gaining colour. When Steven finally speaks, he emits an undignified squeak that has Andrew fighting off the urge to laugh. His voice cracks when he thumps the front of his chest and tries again.

"You...so you...you booked a flight, took it all the way here, came to HQ, all just to tell me that?"   
  
Okay screw that, there goes the urge to laugh. Andrew released an embarrassed huff instead.   
"I told you it was ridiculous." Unlike the higher pitch in Steven's reply, he murmurs in a tone so quiet, Steven has to tilt his head to the side to hear it. "But that was the plan, yes."

"Andrew....that's like...something straight out of a rom-com movie."

"You know me, I'm full of surprises."

Snickering filled the air briefly in the face of Andrew's dry remark. There is a bright glimmer in Steven's eyes when he worries at his own bottom lip and reaches out. Longer fingers skated across the outlines of his knuckles when Steven rests both his hands atop of Andrew's, easily covering them with his palms. If Andrew's heart had been hammering then, it sure as hell doesn't plan on stopping anytime soon with Steven's next words.

"Can I kiss you?"

Not fully trusting himself with words, he substitutes a verbal response with a nod instead, leaning in. Much like before, Steven meets him in the middle, shifting closer so that he could press their lips together experimentally in a chaste kiss. It's not perfect by any means- Steven's lips are chapped, the tips of their noses bumped together and it took a lot of adjusting angles to accommodate each other before they find an agreeable arrangement. But it was real. It was good. Better than good. Whatever word that conveys 'yes' because Andrew's a little too preoccupied to be able to give a term to it.

They break the kiss and Steven shivers before he leans in once more. Then they're kissing again. And again. It gets a little easier to lose himself in each kiss. In the way Steven rubs at his cheeks with his thumbs when he cups his face and catches his bottom lip with his teeth. In the noises of delight he makes each time Andrew does something he finds particularly enjoyable. In the feather light tickles of Steven's lashes brushing against him briefly each time they shift. Andrew drinks it all in. He kisses him like it's the first and last time he'll ever be able to do so. Vows to bottle this moment in his memory. Memorise the little dips and divots of Steven's lips fitted against his. Memorises the way Steven exhales a sigh of heady relief when they break for air.

"That was far better than I imagined it to be."

"Than you imagined it to be? Steven you-"

Andrew's thrown off balance both figuratively and literally as Steven snorts and pinches at the tip of his nose. Steven's cheeks were still pink when he answers the unspoken question.

"I love you too, duh. Like- a lot."

It takes Andrew a whole five minutes to regain coherency in his brain functions after that. In that span of time, Steven's taken him by the hand, led him towards the exit and stopped to kiss him again.

**Author's Note:**

> You can let me know what you think of it in the comments or over here at my [blog](https://spoopybruh.tumblr.com/)


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